A post I wrote on Friday but didn't have time to post till today...

Mmmm…slurpee run on a Friday afternoon with the office crew. As much as I complain about being cubicle bound this summer, when it comes right down to it, I have a pretty awesome deal. Regular hours, great pay, a fair share of interesting work, fun co-workers who aren’t averse to taking off at 3 for some sugary snacks…and I can’t forget the brilliant sun-soaked lawn, just waiting for Frisbee playing at lunch. Sound pretty nice? It is. But without a boring work-life to complain about, what happens to the existence of this blog? Isn’t it called “Cubically Inclined”? Doesn’t it depend on work stories for entertaining entries? Will it cease to exist if it turns out my job ain’t so bad?

*poof*

Nope. Doesn’t look like it’s going to disappear. Which leads me to my next morsel of reading. Disappearing blogs. (Not the brilliant segue there…from disappearing blogs to disappearing blogs…man…sometimes it’s like you’re too awesome…*wipes tear from eye*)….hmm…ahem…what? Oh, sorry about that…right, so disappearing blogs. I’ve noticed that after the initial flurry of blogging activity, where everyone and their dog seemed to be recording some sort of narrative online, bloggers are dropping like flies! You can’t begin to imagine how disheartening it is to arrive in the morning, eagerly awaiting the latest from Bewildered Mind or Ramblings of a Former Genius and find…a week old entry. That is half a paragraph long. And includes such witty repertoire as a song recommendation. (disclaimer: any resemblance to any real life bloggers is strictly unintentional and coincidental) C’mon people, it feels like we aren’t even trying here! Where is the flair, the panache that characterized early attempts at sharing views and opinions? Where is the sharply honed sense of humor with its bitingly cynical but infinitely accurate observations? Where is Dave Chung? These, the questions that plague me as I ponder the strange disappearance of blog entries.

So in the interest of encouraging my fellow bloggers to continue to explore their creative capacities as writers, I have suggested the following incentive/disincentive structures. Feel free to vote on the one you’d most like to see implemented. I’ll be sure to take your opinion into account. Because what you think matters to me. Seriously.

1. Provide a cookie to bloggers upon the completion of a new entry
Pros
-Pretty straightforward, do the right thing and you are rewarded.
-Almost everybody likes cookies.
-Make other bloggers fat and gives them bad skin from sugar and chocolate, increases Rob’s feeling of comparative self worth when competition are all chubby and acne-ridden.
Cons
-Could get expensive, delivery issues (nobody wants an internet cookie, they seem set on the real thing).
-As everybody knows, if you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll probably want a glass of milk, and so on and so forth…only in this case, bloggers will probably ask for a book deal. Greedy buggers.

2. Threaten to have Ninjas attack and silently kill any blogger who does not meet a minimum weekly quota of blog entries
Pros
-Fear seems to be a pretty successful deterrent. Look at how long Stalin was in power. And he didn’t have ninjas.
-I like ninjas.
Cons
-I suppose I’ll need to pay this private army of ninjas, and I’m not independently wealthy. Yet.
-Have you ever tried to get blood out of a keyboard?

3. Promise to reward blog entries with scantily clad girls making a house call to fulfill “that particular fantasy” that all computer-geek-guys have
Pros
-Now this a real incentive, the fastest way to a lonely computer-geek’s heart is through his fragile sense of self-worth and lasting desire to share a meaningful conversation with (or at least ogle) a beautiful woman
-It shouldn’t be hard too hard to convince beautiful girls to wear skimpy clothing and play networked World of Warcraft with these geeks. Yes, that was the fantasy I was talking about…what’s that? You thought I meant something different? You’re sick, man. You’re just sick.
Cons
-The only beautiful girl I know and talk to is my girlfriend. No others. Ever. So I wouldn’t be able find any girls to help provide this incentive.

Hmm, so which method seems appropriate? Feel free to share your thoughts with me and once we have a decisive winner, we can start part II, planning and implementation of the strategy. I will be anxiously awaiting your thoughts. Right.