Bands

3:30 PM, you know what that means…time to take a break from…well…let’s be honest…taking a break…anyways, time for an update! And appropriately, “Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra comes on the ol’ faithful Ipod. (Side note—if you haven’t realized it yet, I often make mention of my Ipod and whatever music I’m listening to. No, I’m not paid to mention their trademarked name. No, I don’t really like Ipods, I think they are a rip-off and are not as good or as cost effective as some of the other players out there. However, I got one as a gift last Christmas, and despite my moaning, I make use of it almost every day. So consider yourself warned. Ipod and music keep me alive here in this box.)

Where was I….oh yeah, ELO! What a fabulous band name…seriously, we are getting way too formulaic these days with band names…there seems to be an unwritten rule that if you are artsy, your band name must start with a “the”. For example:
The Bravery
The Shins
The Music
The Used
The Calling
Etc etc. So in the interests of helping out those needy musicians who want a cool, alternative choice for their group, I have compiled a list of the top 10 bands names I could think of (Some are real, some are made up…obviously)

10. Shout Out Out Out—when in doubt, toss in a little repetition. Note-when spoken, gradually increase volume of voice to a full-throated fortissimo by the last “Out” for best effect, i.e. shout out Out OUT!!

9. Big Yum and the Sour Horror—this needs no explanation as to why it makes the top ten. What a great name

8. Mos Def—possibly one of the greatest MC names of all time. Most Definition? Most Definitely? Does it matter?

7. Electric Light Orchestra—conjures up vivid images of the 70’s, don’t it?

6. John Legend—the man is named Legend! Come on!! That ain’t natural! Wait…is that his real last name? Probably not…damn…this doesn’t deserve to be in the top ten…

5. Thee Michelle Gun Elephant—thought I made this up, didn’t you? Aha! A real live Japanese punk band, awarded the most nonsensical band name ever…but it kinda has a nice ring…check em out!

4. Bloodfountain/Boneface—both these names were considered for my current rock band’s metal-playing alter ego. Unsurprisingly, both were rejected

3. Alan Parsons Project—simple, direct, yet surprisingly mysterious. Who is this Alan Parsons? Is he a robot? What is his project? And where is the bag of Miss Vicki’s I lost last week? Some many questions, so few answers….

2. Godspeed thee, Black Emperor! —what a sweet name, and a pretty decent band as well!

and last but not least, the top band name of all time…

1. Vowel Movement—BWAHAHAHA!! Get it?! Get it?! Like Bowel, only it’s Vowel?! Oh man…*wipes tears from eyes*…that’s great…

In which Rob starts to think and talk like his Mom...

Wow.

I just spent half an hour writing an entry that I planned on posting that somehow turned into an unfocused, rambling diatribe that criticized Westerners for our lust for material wealth, and our willingness to sacrifice our free time and energy to attain it. I don’t know how it happened. One minute I was complaining about being stuck in a cubicle, and the next thing I know, half an hour has gone by and I’m staring at what is becoming increasingly like a mom-type of argument. Worst fears confirmed: I am morphing into my mother. Needless to say, I deleted the whole thing, best not to leave any evidence.

However.

I now find myself without a particular topic for this day’s post, other then I am motivated by a need to eat some time up, and this seems a reasonable way to do it. On the Ipod is a little Radiohead, the Shins, and hopefully if the shuffle function can read my mind and play the song I want, a little Martina Sobara. Not quite my usual serving of tasty Hip Hop and RnB, but I’m feeling chilled. For those who haven’t heard it, “Motion Picture Soundtrack” by Radiohead is officially the saddest song in the entire world. For some reason, I think there’s an animated artsy-type short film that accompanies this song, although I could be getting it confused with some of the animations for Kid Koala. Must remember to check that out…

So here’s some news—I leave for 10 or 11 days in Newfoundland on Friday, for a world choral symposium called Festival 500. Very exciting, and good timing too—another week in this place and who knows what might happen! In any event, this little holiday should be good; I’m going to go on a whale-watching boat ride, eat some fresh lobster, visit some pubs of ill-repute on George street, and of course, do a whole lot of singing. Now if I can just last through the rest of the week…

Rob+Cartoons=Happiness

Word of the day: fanatic (fa-na tik) n.

Dictionary.com definition: A person marked or motivated by an extreme, unreasoning enthusiasm, as for a cause.

Rob’s definition: A curious combination of the words “fan” and “addict,” entirely appropriate for my passionate affair with…you guessed it…anime!!
I just thought I should get that out of the way before launching into a gushing review session about "Howl’s Moving Castle" (Hauru no ugoku shiro), the latest masterpiece from acclaimed director Hayao Miyazaki under the Studio Ghibli production house. I had the pleasure of watching this film on the big screen last night, and let me tell you, I have a new favorite Ghibli film.

I thought about trying to explain the attraction of anime to those of you who as yet might not have had the pleasure of enjoying a film from this genre, as I believe anime fans are often misrepresented as nerds, geeks, and basement-dwelling computer-monkeys with little to no sense of personal hygiene. However, I decided to save that bit for a later post, and stick to the important stuff for now: namely this beautiful, intelligent and heartwarming story as lovingly told by Miyazaki. Never heard the name before? You should; his feature film "Princess Mononoke" was the best selling film in Japan up until the release of Titantic. Miyazaki’s 2003 offering "Spirited Away" won the Golden Bear award at the Berlin Film Festival in 2002 and the Oscar for best animated feature film in 2003. In Japan, it recorded box-office sales of 30.4 billion yen, about $280 million US. "Howl’s Moving Castle" chalked up 1.48 billion yen ($13.6 million US) in box-office revenue and attracted an audience of 1.1 million people in its FIRST TWO DAYS of release in Japan. Not too bad for an animated film, huh?

Now let’s get down to business: the details of the film. "Howl’s Moving Castle" is based on a book a British author named Diana Wynne Jones (one of my favorites when I was a little younger…ok…still one of my favorites…) The movie loosely follows the original book, but any changes that were made did not detract from the story—rather, the plot was well-thought out, with a few small exceptions that I will mention later. The music was exceptional—as in all Miyazaki stories—and truly emphasized the magical nature of this film. This was further underscored by the stunning animation and beautiful cinematography. Stunning and vivid mountains, meadows and fields enriched the film in a trademark Miyazaki way. Even the English dubbing added to the film experiences; voices were carefully chosen, and included such stars as Christian Bale and Billy Crystal.

Only a few small features kept this film from getting a perfect rating. First, the character of Madame Suliman leaves us a little confused—is she good, bad, or just misdirected? And the appearance of certain characters at the end seem to be thrown in for convenience…I won’t elaborate any further and spoil the movie, but rest assured, these small details do not detract from this incredible movie.

So there you have it: Lush, vivid, intelligent and heartwarming, "Howl’s Moving Castle" is my new favorite Studio Ghibli film. I would see this one in theatres if you can folks; the big screen only adds to the magical experience. Rest assured, the minute this one hits DVD, I’ll have to pick up a copy and add it to the permanent collection. A wholehearted 4.5/5 for this beautiful film!!

Left and right...

Well here I am, sitting in my cubicle listening to a little D'Angelo f. Method Man and Redman, hence the title...my question of the day is this: where is D'Angelo? This guy can sing, he has crazy trick beats and backs, he's got so much feel that he can sing completely out of tempo and make it sound cool as hell...but instead of gracing us with another voodoo-flavored album (mmm, take a moment and savor THAT particular flavor…so…voodoo-ey…) he is missing in action. Reward Offered: Anyone with information that leads directly to the apprehension or conviction of one Angelo, D’ will qualify for a reward of no less then 10 million happiness points from Rob.*

I suffered through a two-hour meeting today on Internal Trade Policy that was among the most brain-deadening exercises I have undergone during my short career in the public sector. I can honestly say that I am dumber from the experience. Seriously. I tried reading my notes from the meeting and discovered that about halfway through, my ability to write English letters deteriorated into a cuneiform-like scrawl. And it took me three tries to spell "deteriorated".

But to every cloud there is a silver lining, and this was no exception. The closure of the meeting was followed by a delicious catered lunch from Sunterra markets, complete with fresh fruit and deserts. It’s as if the Internal Trade people were saying, “My God, I’m sorry we made you sit through that horribly boring meeting, please accept our apologies along with these tasty sandwiches.” Who do they think they are, trying to appease me with food?!

But the sandwiches were damn good…
___________________________
*—Some restrictions may apply

And they're off

It’s time.

Here and now, this 21st day of July, in the year of our Lord 2005, it’s time to begin recording my thoughts along with the quirky daily occurrences in my life. Many came before me, but none shall compare to the sardonic wit, the infectious humor, nay, the sheer unadulterated Chaucerian mirth that these ramblings will imbue mine humble readers with.

Right.

Now that we’ve gotten that bit of machismo out of the way, let’s be honest: starting a blog is terrifying. Think about it for a minute—there are two options when blogging. Option One: you can inform your friends and family that you’ve begun an online journal and they are welcome to read it for their pleasure. What a nightmare—you have the pressure of trying to relate your thoughts in a manner that is interesting, thoughtful, hides your offensive or embarrassing characteristics and most importantly, demonstrates your keenly honed sense of humor. God forbid you should make a post that isn’t at par with your previous entries—“you know, I’ve been reading that blog of yours, funny stuff, but that last post…” They read your material, judging, watching, judging, look at the baby, look at the baby! *shudder*…you see where I’m going…

Option Two isn’t much better. You can jealously guard your online journal, preventing them from reading it and subsequently judging you. No one need know that you are neither funny nor insightful nor the slightest bit interesting, and you can still pour out your thoughts. Unfortunately, this is roughly equivalent to talking to yourself, a sure sign of dementia. Before long, you won’t leave the hotel room, you become paranoid of germs infecting everything, you grow a scraggly beard and claim to have invented a marvelous aircraft called the “Spruce Goose” that will do New York to London in only 6 hours. And the evil monkey in the closet is making threatening gestures.

So why, when faced with these two options, am I starting a blog, you ask? Good question. Perhaps I like being judged. Perhaps I don’t intend for anyone to read this, and I really am just talking to myself. Or perhaps, *cues slowly building music* perhaps I believe there’s a third option. An option where I share my writings, and they are well received. Where friends and family slap me on the back and say “That blog of yours, quality stuff!” Where men and women of all races and beliefs can enjoy my stories under a common banner of decency, respect, and good-natured mockery for those individuals who incur my spleen! *music climaxes in a triumphant fanfare*

Or…

Perhaps I am stuck at work, in front of a computer, and am looking for ways to entertain myself as the long hours of the day pass. Furthermore, I could care less whether you readers approve of or enjoy my writings. This is for my own entertainment, not yours.
So which is it? A little bit of both? None of the above? Couldn’t care less, you’re as bored as I am and will read anything? Welcome to my home…I have a feeling that we are going to be good friends.